你能理解这一点？是啊...我也不能

Ok... Before I get this out of my system, I would like you to know that I really don't dislike those who don't speak English. I'm sure they are very fine people and I really wish them the best in life. But... and this is a BIG BUT! They frustrate the hell out of me!! For the love!!
It's Saturday night, four Asian's enter my store (no, this is NOT a joke). Somehow, I was put in charge of being their handy helper. Holy cow. Little did I know this would prove to be the longest, most stressful hour of my shift. ( Shift= 4:00 - 10:00 it was 4:17) In the group of four, there were 2 couples. One looked like they were in their late 50's and the other in their early 80's. One out of the four could speak "bary boken anglash" ha! I watched them browse for a minute and realized they were looking for Shape-Ups. I went over to offer assistance and knew that I was in trouble. The lady who was speaking for the group said "I gib you tree old shoe and I get disscont on one new shoe" WHAT! Sorry lady, we don't "trade" here. Then she says "But I need disscont. That shoe is one-sero-ni dolla. Too much" Well, sorry. (Kaden style) That's just the way it is! I can't barter and I can't trade to give you a "disscont". It just doesn't work this way. As I continued to help, I figured out that the older man, I shall call him Gramps, was looking for a pair to "pix boken bawk". For those of you who don't speak broken English, that was "fix broken back". ;)
As I was trying to remain calm, I noticed something. This lady was starting to scream at me. Not in a rude way, but I'm guessing that she thought the louder she got, I would understand her better. Boy was she wrong! After hearing "si ni" about 45 times, I showed her that I really did hand Gramps a size 9!! She relaxed for about 2 seconds. I got Gramps fitted and he paid for his shoes. I was free!! Ha... not so much. Turns out, Grandma-ma wanted some too. Super. I was told to grab her a "si seben" in solid black. Well, here's the thing. Solid black is only sold in men's. Sorry to disappoint ladies, but that's just the way it is. This lady wasn't about to put up with that. She marched right over and grabbed a men's "si seben". As I prepared to launch into my spill about men's and women's sizes being completely different, I realized I needed to simplify. I grabbed my mommy words and tried explaining that men's was BIG and women's was SMALL. Here's the thing, I was shouting. WHAT?! Oh the embarrassment. I toned it down and tried again. (It didn't click whatsoever the first time) I got my visual aid on and showed them that the men's shoe was clearly bigger than the women's. Did that make any difference? Nope. Grandma-ma slips on the way-too-big shoes, laces up and takes off. By takes off I mean jogging.. down the isles. Wait... I'm missing one SMALL detail here. Every step she took she FARTED!! Oh the horror!!! This 80 something year old woman was farting down the isles of the store! Shoot me now! I was seriously dying of embarrassment. My face was so red it looked like I had been the one jogging! I stood there completely mortified at the entire situation!
As Grandma-ma returned from her gassy jog, she motioned that the shoes were too large. YA THINK?!?! I was losing all patience. Seriously. I don't know if the Asian's know what the all-American eye roll looks like, but these people needed to catch on. I grabbed her a women's pair and as she was trying them on, the talking Lady let out a man-sized belch!! At this point, customers were beginning to stare! I was beyond embarrassed!! Good hell... who knew that Asian's were so gassy?!
As Grandma-ma laced up for her next jog, Gramps started shouting. The best part about this is that he's looking right at me. Like in the last 10 seconds I magically developed the ability to speak whatever it was that he was speaking. I glanced at the talking lady and she said one word "bafroom". Oh helen... I didn't even want to know. I sent Gramps on his merry way and thank heavens Grandma-ma decided to purchase. The other dude (who shall be referred to as "the other dude) pulled out his wallet to pay for the shoes. Homeboy had to be part of some Asian mafia! It looked like he easily had 10 grand chillin in his wallet. Wow. I should've said the shoes were "two-sero-ni" and given myself a fat tip for all that gas I had to endure, but of course I did not.
Gramps survived the bathroom, Grandma-ma had new jogging shoes, Talker Lady said "we come bak for mo" (heaven help me) and the other dude gave me a wave. Wow. Time to go home right? Yeah... not even close! Needless to say, I won't be taking my communication skills for granted any time soon! :)